full

i don't have anything of my own. i don't have any passions, ambitions, desires or dreams. i don't have any interests, goals, talents or skills. there are passions, ambitions, desires and dreams; there are interests, goals, talents and skills. they are inside. they are in me. they are not mine. i live your passions, ambitions, desires and dreams. i live your interests, goals, talents and skills. they fill me. you fill me. i feel full. full of you.

angerstorm

my anger is rolling inside, from my neck to my groin; up and down, up and down it goes. there is a tornado in my body, a cyclone, a blizzard, a thunderstorm; rolling and rolling for hours, for days; rolling up, rolling down. it’s rolling for weeks, for months, for years. the angerstorm does not stop. you can’t make it stop. i can’t make it stop.  sometimes it subdues for a minute, for two. it feels warm inside for a moment, for instant. there is no time to warm-up, there is no time to let go. the moment is gone. the instant is lost. the anger is back rolling up, rolling down; my boundless angerstorm.

unable

you quietly sit down on a delicate old chair trying not to make a creak
you close your eyes, you listen to the silence unable to see or speak
sorry, you arrived a bit late
welcome to your journey of hate

nothing

here you are. tomorrow will come. there is nothing. there is nothing that can change. there is nothing that can change you. there is nothing to value. there is nothing to regret. there is nothing to dream about. there is nothing to lie about. there is nothing to forgive. there is nothing to forget.

heart

thick foul yellow scales grew on my heart over time. there were just a few of them at first. i did not notice as the whole heart got covered. it seems it happened so fast. i look at my heart. i can’t see it, i can’t find it. all i see is disgusting yellow matter in the place where something beautiful was meant to be.