would you deny yourself an experience because you don’t have anyone to share it with? do you think you are depressed if the answer is yes? do you think you are insecure and scared if the answer is yes? do you think you are extremely extrovert if the answer is yes? do you think you are very young and naive if the answer is yes? do you think you are lucky if the answer is yes?
don’t you think you must be depressed making a choice to stay home watching tv when you could be someplace else? don’t you think you must be scared when being on your own prevents you from an adventure in life? don’t you think you must be insecure if the looks people give to your lonesomeness mean more than the experiences themselves? don’t you think you must be extremely extrovert if having no audience for your emotions suppresses your need for them? don’t you think you must be young and naive thinking there will be plenty of others experiences in your life that you will be able to share? don’t you think you must be lucky being used to having people to share your experiences with all the time except this once?
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8 comments:
Some experiences are just no fun unless shared...for example, yes, I would deny myself giong to see a movie in a movie theater, just because I ENJOY watching movies with others much more...I love discussing them afterwords, experiencing it together, etc. I've seen movies in the theater by myself, and its never as enjoyable. Even if I am in the mood to go dancing, I don't think I would go alone. That doesn't make me despressed, just means that I know I wouldn't have as much fun unless my friends were there. I guess it's cool that some people could have fun doing so alone, but I think thats more of a personality thing, not a state of mind.
the point here is choosing no fun vs not as much fun
yes but there is always a third option (or more)
example:
Got to movies with friends: Fun value of 10
Go to movies alone: Fun value of 5
Stay home and read a book: Fun value of 9
Have quick lunch with friends (now movie: Fun value of 7
Clean house: Fun value of 0
So it's not an easy choice between two options, there is always something else do do. You just have to weigh what you want to do most. If I REALLY want to do something, I will do it alone...for example, I really wanted to go to Comic Con and write the article (see my blog) and would have done that by myself. But it was much more fun having ppl come along. But usually, there are more than just two options.
this is not about one experience vs other. this is about an experience vs no experience.
That's an interesting philosophical question but it doesn't hold up in the real world. It's basic economics...there are costs and benefits to everything, and everything has a value. There are infinite possibilities.
But ok, lets take a situation where you get offered the chance to go on an amazing all expense paid trip around the world, and you give that up because you don't want to go alone. AND you have no personal ties that are important to you holding you back (family, friends, other things you want to accomlish, etc.). Then yes, I would say that possibly they are despressed or lazy (perhaps brought on by depression) or whatever. I'm not going to get clinical. But again, stuff like that just doesn't happen. Yes you might turn it down and go for the "no experience" but maybe that's because you get such joy from being with your kids, or your work, or you just don't care for travel too much (though you like tking vacations with friends bc that's not about the travel but rather the interaction)...
It's also how you define "experience"
some people would argue that staying home with your kids is NOT and experience, and some would argue the opposite
some would say that going out clubbing is an 'experience' and some would say no, that's just a way to spend your time, which isnt the same thing
some might say that watching TV or reading a book is an experience (perhaps an internal one, but one just the same) that is worth more than talking a walk for exampple, and some would say the opposite
We can tell me "you don't live because you don't experience" but who are we to say? They experience different
this is about denying yourself an experience b/c you don't have company for it. this is very simple. there is a specific experience dancing and singing there in front of you, and you chose not to go for it b/c you don't want to experience it alone. if instead you are engaging in some other activity, you still denied yourself the 1st one.
but it's not denial if you don't want it anymore. It's not the same experience. If you'd planed to go rock climbing with friends that was one experience. Once people cancel and don't go, its another experience. It's not denial, its just deciding to do something else. Maybe you'll end up going rock climbing another time with people, and that experience will be way better, more fun, and memorable than if you'd gone alone.
I get what you're saying, and again, I agree that if you're looking at it in a test tube and the 'doing it alone' is the only factor and that you really really want to do it but now you have to do it alone, that its sad if you give that up and don't. But life isn't like that and my mind can't wrap itself around an impossible hypothetical situation. Specific examples would make it easier. But I guess less fun to discuss.
=)
Example: my friend wanted to go on vacation, we were to go as a group. None of us were able to get the time off work that she could, but this was her last chance to take a vacation. She asked another friend, who she isn't as close with, to go with her. They went, had their experience. She got to relax, go to the beach, etc. But she really didn't have that much fun. She kinda wishes that she just took the week of work and met us up for lunch and went to the movies and the park during the weekend and didn't waste the energy or money on a 'just ok' experience.
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