string

i am unwinding the string. i am aware of what i am doing. i’m terrified and excited. i know the consequences, i know the drill. nothing is new but i feel like it is. i’m frightened. i’m prepared. i think i am, yet i know i am not. i know the despair, the pain, the loss. they are my friends. they will appear when the string is dropped, when i emptied it all. i do not care. i will get through. i will do it this time. but i know i cannot.